CIO

Crying It Out. Alot of people don't believe in this nowadays. The ones that do don't want to be public about it. A lot of new moms on the bulletin boards are highly against it. You feel like a monster if you do this to your baby. And,if you do, I'm told, only do it for 5 minutes (I think they say this so it doesn't sound as bad). But, if they're still crying after 5 minutes and you go in there, wouldn't that reinforce the behavior for them to extend their crying knowing you'll be coming back every 5 minutes?

Before I had a baby, I thought to myself, "sure, I would let them cry it out if they didn't go to sleep". Since I've had a baby, the tune has changed. I go to him for every little fuss he makes. When he wakes up and struggles and fusses from his naps after 15 mins or 30 mins, go in there and pop the pacifier back into his mouth. Sometimes by then, it's getting close to eating, so I would pick him up.

Last night he woke up at 11:30, 1:30 (pacifier), 2:30, 4:30 (pacifier), 5! He didn't stay up from 1:30 to 2:30 this time (been like that for the last couple of nights, but why is he waking up so much? I can't keep doing this. He can't keep doing this, I know it's not good for him. I want him to be a good sleeper, not like me. And, with Jay having a new job with longer hours, I'm going to go crazy if he's awake all the time and fussy. I'm sure I know what the problem is..too much going in there to comfort him and too much pacifier. Also, I think he can last longer between feedings. I need to realize that he'll tell me if he is hungry.

I decided this morning that for his morning nap I would keep him up for a 1/2 more than normal before putting him down and let him Cry It Out if he wakes up. Ok, I sorta did this. After 1/2 hour he started to fuss, went in there tried to comfort him and put his pacer back in. Left the room. Didn't work (of course)and he fussed for about 10 mins and cried for about 5 mins. I didn't go in. I held myself back. It was torture! I had to go into the kitchen and wash his bottles to try and distract myself. When I was done, what did I hear? Silence! He fell back to sleep by himself without his pacifier! Now I just need to convince myself that I'm strong enough to not just rush in and let him cry for a bit. I just don't want him crying for an hour! I hope that never happens. Even 30 minutes would be bad. And I know logically that every time I go in there to comfort him, I would be reinforcing the crying. Emotionally, it's heartbreaking..always wondering if he's ok. I just have to be strong now for all the other naps. Gotta stay focused and reassure myself that it's ok...training a dog is so much easier.

Who Says Babies Smell Good?

Babies seem to smell like new cars...really good in the beginning. You just want to keep sniffing them. But, then there comes a point when they just don't smell as good as they used to. Besides from the poopy diapers (that's a given), I didn't know that babies could also stink like Cheese. Well..my baby does. He can smell Cheesy at times. Thank goodness he gets a bath every night! No one told me that when milk dribbles down his chin and gets caught in his neck folds, he starts smelling like stinky cheese! You know how hard it is to get underneath his chin and into those folds? Babies really don't have much of a neck. Now that his hands are starting to open up, I've also noticed like stinky lint in the folds of his hands. How long has that been there?!? Where does he pick up this lint? Mixed in with some milk that he's wiped his face with his hand...ick! Course this milk is coming from my body, so I'm making him stinky.

The family also went for Wes' 2 month old appointment today. He weighed in at a little over 10lbs and was 21 inches long. Everything was good, except his Cradle Cap, or as we call it "Cradle Crap" (The correct word was a tongue twister - I kept calling it that and it stuck with us. He also got his immuization shots. Poor baby! 2 shots in one leg and one in the other. He did good though. He cried, but wasn't inconsolible. I was able to hold his hand and pop a pacifer in afterwards. I didn't want to traumatize him any more by putting him in his car carrier (which he hates getting into), so I carried him to the garage while Jay took the carrier. So far, he's has slept a long time..2 hours after we got home. Then I fed him at 1:30, and now he's still down and it's 4:00! I probably wake him up at 4:30, if he doesn't wake up by then. I know he needs the sleep cuz they say Sleep begets Sleep. But if he keeps sleeping, there will be no set bedtime! Better sign off so I can prepare when he wakes!

It Works! (Most of the Time)

So, I swaddled him correctly in the MIracle Blanket in his crib, popped in his "pacer", turned on the womb sound and walked away. It so far has worked...most of the time. Only the early morning nap, it didn't work. I had to resort to using the Moby Carrier Wrap, then taking the dog and baby for a walk. But overall, I'm pleased. Using this technique of 3 out of 4 naps, isn't bad. It seems he get's tired after about an hour to hour and half after he wakes up. That's a lot of naps! Today, he's been sleeping about a hour each, which might be better than his usual many 1/2- one hour naps and one big 2 hour nap. Maybe this will help him sleep better during the night. Ugh..last night after his 7:30 bedtime, he woke up at 9:30, 12:30, 2:30, 4, 5:30. At 4, I put his pacifier in and he slept til 5:30. I can't wait to break the 2:30 feed. At 2:30, If he doesn't bust thru his swaddle tonight, I think I'll try the pacifier. Usually I feed him when he fusses. But at 5:30 this morning, I knew he was HUNGRY..he had that angry cry. So, I knew for sure to feed him. I wonder now about the other times...

I also found out that Jay was doing this technique for a while when I was out! He just never bothered to tell me. Here I was worried about how he would do with Wes, worried that he wouldn't be able to settle him down the way that I do it....well, I was wrong! oops! The baby's waking up. Gotta go!

My Husband, The Baby Whisperer

I can't believe this. After all the time it took to do my routine and try to soothe a crying baby to nap, my husband does it in a snap.

Here I am holding in the baby in the chair as he struggles and cries until his eyes finally close, then carefully put him in the crib, so that I don't jolt him awake. Then I wait for his eyes to stop fluttering, then completely close. I then leave the room.

My husband, on the other hand, swaddles him up really good in the crib, pops the pacifer in, partly closes the door, then walks away while the baby's eyes are still open.

What happens? The baby falls asleep! Course with both our methods, we usually have to go in shortly afterwards and pop the pacifier back in when he cries. But, after that, he usually goes down hopefully for at least an hour. I might have to stay with him a little afterwards cuz he's fussy, but with Jay, he puts a drop of the gas medicine so it gives Wes a little more to suck on as is not as fussy.

Also, with Jay's method, he's more self-soothing himself, which is what I wanted! I just never really thought of doing it this way cuz I guess I'm too much of a softy! Before I had Wes, I was all for crying it out. Now that I have him, I couldn't do it. I thought for sure if I did it the way Jay does it, he would be crying it out. Yes, he cried when I tried to put him down for a nap, but I was always with him. I didn't want him to feel like I was abandoning him. We tried it one time way before, and it seemed to not work. I felt afterwards that I broke my trust with the baby and that was why Wes was always fighting to go down for naps. From then on, I felt I had to "help" him get to sleep. In the back of my mind, I wondered if I was really conditioning him to always get to sleep with my help.

Jay said to me it's our own preception on how we think the baby is thinking and feeling. He's right. I'm the type of person who has a really hard time taking naps and needs someone or something to help me wind down to go to sleep. When the baby starts to look tired, but his eyes are still open, I'm assuming that he's going to need a lot of help winding down. Jay, on the other hand, can easily go to sleep. His perception is more basic. Baby will go down if swaddled properly and pacifier is in mouth. Don't worry if his eyes are open, he's not crying. When he's crying, then go in.

I said to Jay today, "why couldn't you show this to me on Thursday?!?" (he's going back to work tomorrow) I want to test it out some more with him there just to make sure it works, for him to oversee that I'm doing a proper swaddle, and for him to hold me back when I want to rush into the room.

I hate it when things throw me for a loop. On one hand, I'm happy that it is working and that he will be able to self-soothe himself. On the other hand, I'm nervous that I won't do things right tomorrow and the whole thing explodes in my face. In situations like this, my confidence goes out the window and I get stressed out. I just need to stay strong and keep telling myself I can do this. Wish me luck!

Sleeping Thru the Night

No, I wish this was the case. He's still waking up about every 3 and half hours to eat at night after bedtime at 8...11:30, 2:30, 5:30. When will it go to every 4 or 5 hours?!? Today, Wes is 2 months old! I went to my work to show him off to my co-workers. Generally he did pretty good. Everyone thought he was a good baby. I even went out to lunch with him for the first time...and he slept through it all! I had hoped with all this stimulation that it might help him be more sleepy and sleep longer. Nope. He seems to have a more fitful sleep. So far, he's been harder to bring down and wakes up often. That seems to have backfired. So this is what I have learned so far. Will tanking him up with milk more often lead to longer sleep during the night? Nope. Will keeping him up longer (which also makes him fussy) lead to longer sleep? Nope. I have got to realize that I still need to sacrifice my time. Poor thing doesn't know I'm pushing him for my own selfish reasons. I need to realize that he's just not developmently ready yet. I just worry that when he won't really need to eat, he will wake up anyways cuz it's more on the clock than hunger. And, I so want him to sleep thru the night when I go back to work in 2 months! I can only hope.

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday, we went to our first family social event in San Francisco for Mother's Day. This is the first time we've driven Wes on such a long trip...one hour drive. Luckily he tends to sleep during the car rides. We took off around 11am, went to visit my Popo at her nursing home. She seemed really happy to see the baby, also saying that he had big eyes. Wes did pretty well. He was awake for most of the time. He did have a couple of fussy moments..you could tell it was because he was tired, but was fighting sleep. His eyelids and under his eyes start to get red. He was able to take a couple of catnaps, but it was only for 15 mins at a time..not enough. By the time we got home around 4pm, it was time to feed him again. Tried to get him back on his routine and it took twice as long to get him wound-down for bedtime after his bath at 8pm. But apparently, he slept longer. Jay didn't feed him til Midnight! Usually Jay feeds him at 10:30pm. Course Wes still got up at 3:30am and 6am to eat. If only Wes could sleep those 4 hours starting at 10:30! I can't wait til that happens! I know he's not ready for it yet. He's trying to eat more, but is now spitting up. His tummy just can't handle the extra milk.

Right now he's sleeping...still fitful. I got him down at 9:30, he woke up at 10, gave him his pacifier again, woke up at 10:30, brought himself back down to sleep again..it's 10:50..still trying to figure him out. Now I can get him down for naps, but they are short or broken. Do I try now to keep him awake longer so he'll sleep more? Or will it make him more fussy and he won't nap at all? It would be so much easier if he came with instructions! Hard for myself to take a nap since it seems he's only sleep a 1/2 hour at a time. I can barely get settled and he's up crying.

Wednesday

Wow..I just woke up from about an hour and half nap! That felt so good! I haven't had one of those in quite a while. Also, Wes seems to be napping better himself. He's still out! This is the second one in the last couple of days where he's sleeping about 2 hours! Either I've been helping him wind down faster and longer for a nap or he's passing some kind of growth spurt. I'm starting to realize when he gets tired. And, he's been giving me more signs. But at the same time, he's starting to turn his head and lift his head up when doing Tummy Time. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

1st Social Outing

Well, today, Wes and I went on our first social outing. I decided to try the Breastfeeding Support Group at Kaiser today. It's only for an hour every Tuesday. This was also the first time I took the stroller in the car. It took me a couple of minutes trying to remember how to fold and close it. Once I got that underway, off we went to the hospital. Considering it was about 10:30am, I was very surprised that I got lucky and found a good parking space near the building. Once inside, we got to meet other mommies and babies. The babies ranged from 1 week to 10 weeks. In the room, they had a scale. I weighed Wes with his clothes on and he weighed 9 lbs. 11 oz! Wow! He gained a pound in 2 weeks! Don't know though how much he's lengthened, but I had to put away the newborn sizes. He's somewhere in the 0-3 months clothes. So, it looks like he's feeding well (especially so by the amount of stuff in his diapers have increased...whoa! almost to the back end of the diaper, if you know what I mean!) It was good to be out to talk to other moms about their breastfeeding and baby caring experience. The things I'm going through now I find I'm not alone. Where I thought he was fighting the breast, I find it's because he's trying to get more out of it. And, it was nice to see the age ranges..I can see where he was at that age and what he will be doing as he gets older. And, my baby is not as fussy as some of the other ones! He did fuss a little, but He actually took a nap! I worry so much that he's not getting enough rest and I find out that one baby doesn't take naps during the day and is fussy and has to be carried around, but sleeps 7 hours at night. Go figure! It was nice to talk to live people instead of posting on the bulletin boards online. It seems like babies are too good when people post. One person will post a problem and most of the people responding to that issue don't seem to have that problem. I guess also it was better with live people because I got more of the story by asking questions. And, they are all around Wes' age, which seems that we're all dealing with similar issues for that age: Gas, fighting/fussy at the breast, spit up, milk supply. This was a good experience. I'm hoping that I can do this again next week, and maybe do this on a regular basis. Hopefully lil' Wes will let me!

1st 6 Weeks

They say the first 6 weeks are the hardest. Looking back, it's hard to remember what it was like. Everything seems like a blur. Maybe that is why it seems hard to get specifics out of mothers when I ask them questions about how their kids were in the first 6 weeks. If you asked me what Wes was like at week 2, I couldn't remember. I guess it's good that I'm blogging during this time so I can look back at how he was in the early weeks.

Is it that it gets easier after that or just that you finally start to get used to it? Maybe it's that by then, you finally get some rewards for all the hard work you put in. I've noticed in the last couple of days that Wes smiles at us and seems to recognize us. He seems more interactive, coos at us, and is able to focus on things now. His neck muscles are getting stronger and he's able to hold his head most of the time without me always holding while I'm carrying him. And, he's able to lift his head for a little bit while we do Tummy Time. He's still got the flailing arms, hopefully he will get out of this soon so that he doesn't keep waking himself up when he hits himself. I'd like to stop swaddling him since it will be getting warmer soon.

We also met a Day Care Provider on Thursday. She seems really good. It's a home, but at the same time, she has activities and lessons for the day. I'm hoping it will work out. At the same time, even though it's exhausting to be with him all day, I feel a little sad that I will have to leave him with someone else. It's happening sooner than I thought. I really only have 2 months left with him.

naps

What did I say about routines? Ugh! It seems to be going out the door! Well, the naps, that is. I'm having a real hard time getting him down for naps. He totally fights it. And, he never stays down for long..maybe 1/2 hour. I think a lot of it is due to his jerky arm movements that he can't control. I've tried swaddling, but now he just fights to get out of it. I'm trying to get him down for a nap after he's awake. All he does is cries and fights it. He knows it's coming when I swaddle him and hold him in the rocker to wind him down before going to the crib. Then while he's sleepy in the crib, he wakes up, struggles, and cries. Unfortunately, the past couple of days I've resorted to cheating...ie. Stroller and nursing him to go to sleep. This is not good. It's hard to keep him down when he starts crying, then get himself all worked up. I know he needs to learn on his own, but at the same time I know he needs his naps. At first I thought I need him to learn on his own. But after him not taking good naps and looking tired, I thought I just need him to nap and get used to naps no matter how I get him to go down. Then I'll work on the other part. Now, I don't know if that is right either. I'm just so confused and worried of doing the wrong thing...